i won't let this burden bring me down.

well... last night at approximately 7:00 PM, my boyfriend of two and a half years called me and broke up with me. i was devastated, heartbroken, and so much more... i have never felt so empty. i am glad that it was not a bitter breakup, and i deep down inside know that it was for the better..it was nothing either of us did, just the distance that makes him "love me, but not be in love with me." but that doesn't erase the feeling that it hurts. my roommate practically force fed me a pint of ben and jerry's... which tasted delicious, but i feel so guilty about (i purged it with dinner). my friends thought it was important that i get out of the house.. which i'm glad they did because i ended up having a decently fun night. it's just such a strange, empty feeling, knowing that you went from so much "something" to absolutely "nothing" in a matter of seconds. part of me saw this coming because our conversation spiraled down into one of those "i don't know how much longer i can do this.. why are you so confident that we can?" kind of talks, which we've had before (i think that prepared me for it to be coming soon). part of me didn't see it coming at all, just because a random call suddenly turned into breakup. whether i was or wasn't expecting it, what's done is done, and life goes on. i am not going to wallow in my sadness about this.. in a way this is a chance to go out and be a totally new girl than i've been in the past two years. you only live once, and i will make the best of it. i love him still, and there are things that will take a while to get over, but i refuse to sit back and dwell on the past, when i have a future ahead of me. i think this will give me a serious chance to improve myself and not have to put myself second to anybody. it is beautiful out. i am going to walk to the gym, run for a few hours, and then go buy some really nice outfits from urban outfitter. i won't let this burden bring me down.